Confessions

Last Friday night into Saturday morning Dog decided to come clean.

Ever since I moved to NM in November of 2005 he has had a "cave" -- the master bedroom -- where he escaped to from time to time and closed me out. For all I knew he was taking a smoke break -- he told me it was his way of keeping the cigarette smoke away from me.

Well, it seems he was hiding something else in addition. He started his confession by telling me that he did go to the dump recently -- not to bring the weeds that he had cut down from the yard, but for a whole slew of beer and other liquor bottles that he had had stashed in his cave. (The middle of the night can be a great time for big confessions coz the other person is only half-awake.)

He came to the realization that he would be having a good deal of free time on his hands what with the lay-off and all. And he could either wallow or get up and do things. He decided it would be better for him, for us, for the house if he got up and did things. And he has been. He has been keeping up on the dishes and the laundry. Also, he has cleaned out "the cave" so much so that there is now a usable bed in there and he also cleaned out the closet to be able to expand that space as well.

I am sorry that he felt he had to hide that from me. He told me that he had been terrified that I might find the evidence of his drinking. He feels a whole lot more relieved now. However, he does have bad days. Today at lunch he told me there is this voice in his head trying to tell him that he has been a good boy -- what would 1/2 pint hurt? He said he is NOT going to give into that voice -- until he is sure he has beaten it. He hope that he will be able to let himself celebrate a little on Halloween -- one of the most meaningful holidays of the year for him.

On the other hand, I am glad that he is now talking about it and is no longer hiding it. He told me last night that one of his fears about all this was becoming another CW who has nothing but time on his hands and not much gumption to do much of anything at all.